When my husband and I quit our jobs to travel, we *really* went for it.
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n our year of full-time travel, my husband and I visited more than a dozen countries and almost all of the states. We stood inside the Sistine Chapel with our necks craned, staring at the ceiling. We swam alongside sea turtles and watched an octopus follow us with what looked like an electric eye. We saw the Sahara paint itself more shades of orange than I knew existed as the sun set over the sand. We did a lot of things right, but we couldn’t know everything, and I’d be lying if I said there weren’t things I wish we’d done differently.
I Wish I Had Decided to Own and Not Rent My Home
We didn’t buy a home before we left to travel because we knew we would be leaving, but we also knew we would be coming back. Our goal was never to travel indefinitely but only for one year. Everything that I had read about traveling full-time had said owning a home was a bad move, so we rented. But looking back, I regret that.
Owning a home wouldn’t have been a hindrance. It could have been lucrative. When we were traveling, we mostly stayed in rental homes, people making money off their real estate in their absence. We could have taken advantage of that year like many of our hosts had we owned a home and leased it.
Beyond finances, as a full-time traveler, the concept of home shifts. Home becomes where you are at the moment. A few months into our trip, I was lying in a bed in Marrakesh that was so small my husband and I had to turn on our sides to fit. We were sticky from the heat that covered us like blankets. I thought: I don’t like it here.
I stayed awake in that riad, uncomfortable, stressed, and unmoored. If I’d had a home halfway across the world I think it would have been helpful at that precise moment–it would have given me a sense of security. And maybe it would have made some the places feel less overwhelming–like they were just a stop on our journey.
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I Wish I’d Figured out How I Wanted to Travel Without the Influence of Social Media
There is no such thing as too much freedom, but there is such a thing as too many choices. The world is huge, yet it is becoming increasingly smaller because of how much of it we can see on our phones. That makes it feel like everything should be within reach. When we left to travel, I felt pressure to do everything: visit the Louvre, shop the souks in Marrakech, tour the Colosseum, and bathe in Budapest. I did all of those things, and they were amazing, but it wasn’t what I wanted.
I felt happier when I was hiking through the middle of the forest in a small town in Austria, watching smoke billow out of chimneys from family homes, or when we came across the water so clear and blue it looked artificial in an empty park in Slovenia that we stumbled upon by accident.
It took us a while to realize that what we really wanted was to be outside and feel wild and free. Once we figured that out, we were able to adjust our trip, but we let what we thought we should be doing detour us, which cost us time and money we would have rather spent hiking a trail we’d never see on Instagram.
I Wish I Had Packed What I Love
I like leather flip-flops and brown hiking boots. I like to wear jeans and t-shirts, tie-dye sundresses and hoodies. I didn’t pack flip-flops because I thought it would be better to have sandals with straps that couldn’t potentially fall off my feet. I tried a new brand of hiking boots that were supposed to be better than my old pair and were black. Jeans don’t feel comfortable if they get rained on and take up a lot of space in a bag, so I packed leggings. I bought a black sundress because it was more versatile. Hoodies seemed like an overly American piece of clothing, so I left them behind.
I hated almost everything I thought I needed to bring. The sandals gave me blisters, and my flip-flops never fell off my feet anyway. The new boots might have been better, but I didn’t like them because they weren’t my old boots. Leggings roll up nice and tight in a bag but don’t block wind and are still uncomfortable if it’s raining. The black sundress was okay, but it didn’t make me happy. And sure, in Europe, people often thought I was European and spoke to me in Polish and French, but it wouldn’t have been the worst thing in the world if my hoodie gave me away as an American.
I was uncomfortable with the things I felt I needed to bring because they weren’t me, and bringing what I thought I needed only made me miss what I loved.
I Wish I Had Stayed Longer in One Place
When I could go anywhere, it felt like I should go everywhere. I was on a mission to see as much as I possibly could in a year, but that burnt me out. Traveling quickly sounded like fun until I had to unpack and repack my bag in three different hotels in less than 72 hours.
Beyond the physicality of moving quickly, I am most fulfilled when I feel that I have felt the heart of a place, that I know what it is and its intentions. That feeling can’t happen in a day. Sometimes it can’t happen in a week.
Over the course of our year traveling, we stayed in Yellowstone National Park for three months. I knew what time the sun rose and set and the best spots to watch day turn to night. I learned to watch ravens and vultures circle fresh kills where wolves would rise in the early fog of morning to feast. I couldn’t have come to know Yellowstone as intimately as I did, had I not spent so much time there.
Taking more time in a single place would have limited how many places I saw, but it would have made me feel more whole. I wish that I had tried to cover less physical distance and focused more on the intricacies of a few places.
I Wish I Had Splurged More
We had to stay on a tight budget, but I denied myself a lot that ultimately wasn’t worth the sacrifice. I wish that I’d visited more bars instead of saving a few dollars and calling it an early night. I wish that I had eaten the signature dish in every new city, even if it cost more than eating at the grocery store. I wish that I had coffee in more cafes to enjoy lazy mornings watching a place come to life.
I remember the times I did splurge. In Venice, I paid extra for a room with a canal view. I watched boats pass by from my bed. It’s my favorite place I’ve ever stayed because I got to enjoy the views I wanted instead of the side of the building in a room that would have saved me a few bucks.
How I Travel Today
The things I wish I would have done differently in my year of travel are what I do now on our vacations with our two young daughters. We have a home, and when we leave, I know we’re coming back to it. We love to be outside, so we bought a used camper. It’s not perfect, and it isn’t fancy, but we get to stay right along the beach with our kids and watch them explore until they pass out in the summer sun.
I pack my flip-flops and tie-dye dresses and hoodies. We take our kids to one spot, sometimes not even that far from home, and we stay there. We let them experience a new place slowly, learning that there is a robin nest in the tree in our campsite and the mom comes with worms in the morning or the way the tide works at the inlet by watching the water rise toward their sandcastles. When we go out to eat, I get the dish that I want with a beer, and I enjoy it. Part of traveling is growing as a person, becoming bigger than you once were. The things I would have done differently allow me to do that now, not only when I look back on my year of travel but when I take my own little family forward into the world.
Thank you! I really needed this. We began last year to travel abroad and have a list of significant trips planned, 2 being already booked! So many places, so little time.... Our first trip last year was one country we both wanted to see... we tried to do every iconic thing that one country had to offer.We went everywhere, so many adventures, and we truly can say we conquered. It was also exhausting, frustrating and sometimes dissappointing. The trip is a wonderful memory and we loved it, we would go back! But, reading this solidified my thought that we could have done it better. Because of your article I suddenly realize that doesn't mean more organized, more time or LOL less museums for my husband.... but really being in the moment to savor where are and what makes us happy anywhere we go. I see now that our best moments were not what I thought we should be experiencing but what we were enjoying. Here also - "no more". Really, thank you so much for your insight.
Such a great article! One more thing, we always go to the museums because we feel we should, but honestly I really dislike museums... most anyway. No more
This article brought tears to my eyes, because I just came back from 3 weeks visiting France, Italy and Switzerland. My very hyper traveling companion needed to see everything, while all I wanted to do was drink espresso, eat good food and people watch. I too had a canal view in Venice (not quite from my bed!) and was happy just taking it in. And let's not even start about all those joyless grocery store meals. I did, however, enjoy all my new traveling clothes.
The advantages of a view from the bed can not be overstated. The stupidity of beds that face directly a big screen TV, with with a little ingenuity, the bed could face beauty, is also not to be overstated nor the unnecessary ugliness of some hotel bedspreads. Sending love to the Hotel Accademia in Venice and the now retired Signor Massimo.
Great article...very well written. I love your imagery. Several years ago, my husband and I stopped worrying about the "must sees". Usually, I left disappointed because I had built them up in my head based upon pictures in brochures and old Viewmaster reels I remembered watching as a kid.
Now, we relax and focus more on tapping into the energy of where we visit.
At the end of a trip, I usually rate it based upon how much my husband and I enjoyed one another's company, not the sites we visited.